**The following is a humorous and exaggerated take on some of our most memorable client experiences. Please enjoy these stories with a grain of salt and a sense of humor! **
Welcome to "The Karen Chronicles," a whimsical compilation of true stories that will have you chuckling, cringing, and nodding your head in agreement. Step into a world where ordinary photography experiences collide with the extraordinary personalities of our beloved Karens. Brace yourself for a delightful journey through some of our most unforgettable encounters:
"The Silent Conversationalist": Behold, the Karen who engages in lengthy discussions about booking a session, only to disappear into the abyss of silence. Our messages go unanswered, leaving us wondering if the conversation was just a figment of our imagination.
"The Never-Ending Edits": Prepare to be astounded by the Karen who requests endless revisions, long after the agreed-upon delivery date has passed. Weeks turn into months as she pursues perfection, leaving us contemplating whether time and space have lost their meaning.
"The Pixel-Peeping Perfectionist": Prepare to witness the extraordinary abilities of the Karen who possesses a sixth sense for detecting flaws in her own appearance. With the precision of a NASA scientist examining moon dust, she zooms in on each pixel, searching for imperfections invisible to the naked eye. If only she knew that even the Hubble Telescope couldn't capture her elusive standard of flawlessness!
"The Ticking Clock Stalker": Brace yourself for the Karen who believes time bends at her beck and call. Every tick of the clock sends her into a frenzy, bombarding us with messages, demanding to know the exact moment her photos will be ready. It's as if she believes we have a secret laboratory equipped with time-altering gadgets, solely dedicated to satisfying her insatiable impatience.
"The Deposit Houdini": Behold the masterful disappearing act of the Karen who never quite grasped the concept of securing her booking. Like a magician's assistant, she conveniently forgets to pay the retainer or properly complete the booking process. Yet, when we don't magically appear at her doorstep, she transforms into a furious illusionist, blaming us for her own vanishing act.
"The Communication Phantom": Enter the twilight zone of the Karen who shies away from direct contact, opting instead for the mystical art of silent lurking. While she effortlessly trolls our online platforms, criticizing our communication skills, she forgets that telepathy isn't included in our photography package. We're left pondering whether she's more skilled in hiding or simply mastering the art of selective perception.
"The Complimenting Critic": Brace yourself for the Karen who showers us with praise, professing how great our photos are, only to unleash a torrent of negative reviews that leaves us scratching our heads in bewilderment. Oh, the art of backhanded compliments!
"The Weather Maestro": Experience the dramatic tale of the Karen who blames us for the weather's every whim – the clouds, the sunlight, and even the positioning of celestial bodies. She contemplates last-second cancellations, convinced that we control the very forces of nature.
“The Unauthorized Editor”: Karen strikes again, but this time with the power of... Snapchat filters! Against all odds—and the clearly stated contract—Karen takes my carefully crafted professional photos and slathers them in Instagram presets. Because who needs a photographer’s expertise when you can swipe through 100 filters in under a minute, right? #NoFilterNeeded... except for all the ones she added.
"The Late Complainer": Prepare for the Karen who arrives fashionably late to the appointment, only to lament about the photos being taken during her tardiness. A lesson in punctuality and the delicate art of blaming others for personal shortcomings.
"The Rule of Thirds Rebel": Hold your sides as we share the tale of the Karen who embarks on passionate rants, asserting her divine right to be centered in every shot, despite the rule of thirds. Oh, the battles we fight in the name of artistic composition!
"The Vain Voyager": Embark on a journey with the Karen who believes her reflection in the mirror holds more truth than the lens of a skilled photographer. With her self-perception skewed by a funhouse mirror of self-criticism, she places the blame on us when her photos reveal nothing but stunning beauty. If only we could provide an on-site personal trainer, stylist, and hypnotist to reshape her perception!
“Penny-Pinching Pilgrimage”: Introducing "Journeying Jane": After an epic 2.2-hour drive quest rivaling the great odysseys, Jane's tip made me feel like a millionaire - a whole dollar bill! Suddenly, she sped away faster than Bigfoot on a caffeine high. Every cent counts, right?
"The Time-Warp Texter": Ah, Karen, the master of the message who plays hide-and-seek with your inbox and your patience. She asks, you answer, and then—poof!—she's gone, robbing you of time better spent with family. Months later, she resurfaces as if no time has passed, ignoring the concept that time is a non-renewable resource, especially family time. Karen's own time-space continuum apparently doesn't include common courtesy.
"The Fiery Lobster": Witness the Karen who believes she can outshine the sun itself, only to return from her tropical escapades looking like a lobster with a bad tan. Blaming us for her radiant redness, she expects us to have the power of aloe-infused miracles.
“Vexing Victoria": Victoria fixates on a single photo, seeing it as the elusive jewel in her collection. Her companion, under a veil of digital disguises, weaves a campaign of veiled threats and coercion. Their joint endeavor turns a standard photo review into a tableau of tense diplomacy, underscored by an air of persistent anxiety and unrelenting expectations.
"The Wind Dancer": Brace yourself for the Karen who arrives at our shoot with hair more untamable than a lion's mane. As the wind sweeps through, she blames us for the hair-raising experience, forgetting that even the most skilled hairstylist would be left in awe of nature's gusty symphony.
"The Bargain Print Detective": Marvel at the Karen who takes it upon herself to play detective and uncover the secret world of discount printing services. When her budget-friendly prints resemble pixelated masterpieces from the '90s, she conveniently forgets her role as the lead investigator.
"The Misinformation Maven": Unravel the tangled web woven by the Karen who spins stories faster than a spider on caffeine. With inaccurate information in hand, she expects us to perform magic tricks instead of photography. It's a high-wire act where reality is blurred, and she's the ringmaster of misguided expectations.
"The Instruction Ignorer": Step into a world where chaos reigns supreme, guided by the Karen who turns a blind eye to our expert instructions and pearls of wisdom. Like a symphony conductor who doesn't know her baton from a baguette, she orchestrates a cacophony of confusion and then points the baton at us.
"The Candid Commander": Encounter the client who insists that every photograph should capture candid moments, yet becomes frustrated when their hair is out of place or their facial expression isn't picture-perfect. It's as if they want the spontaneity of a candid shot combined with the artifice of a meticulously staged Vogue cover!
“Kevin: The Photography Connoisseur"! Our client's cousin and self-proclaimed genius of all things photographic. Despite our client's absolute delight, Kevin felt compelled to grace our Facebook page with his enlightening critique. According to him, our photos were "mediocre" and lacking in that ethereal "creativity" he so graciously possesses. We're truly humbled by Kevin's unwavering expertise. Feel free to peruse our portfolio and witness firsthand the sheer inadequacy of our work in Kevin's unparalleled eyes. Because who needs originality when you have Kevin's impeccable taste?
“Deep-Dive Debbie" turned our inbox into a relay race, passing the baton back and forth in an epic email marathon! We painted a portrait in words, and dove deep into details. But when the finish line approached, the price tag tripped her stride. Remember, every lap (and tap) takes time, and time, once spent, doesn't rewind.
Disclaimer: The stories shared in "The Karen Chronicles" are inspired by real-life encounters but have been embellished for comedic effect. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or fictional, is purely coincidental. We hold utmost respect for all our clients, including those who have added a touch of adventure and amusement to our photography experiences, and this website!
Does JoJo want to deal with “Karens”?
The quick answer is NO, JoJo prefers not to engage with individuals who prove to be intentionally difficult. He values working with clients who are pleasant, responsible, understanding, excellent communicators, and genuinely care about creating a positive photography experience.
If your name is Karen, but you embody compassion, responsibility, understanding, and clear communication, then YES! JoJo is excited to work with you, regardless of your name.
However, if you possess traits such as entitlement, rudeness, lack of transparency, self-centeredness, or tend to create unnecessary conflicts, JoJo respectfully suggests seeking alternative photography options. It's important to maintain a positive and collaborative atmosphere.
However, if you're finding this part of the page offensive or unprofessional, then JoJo recommends grabbing a sense of humor on your way out out of the door.
On the other hand, if you're finding all this humor hilarious, hysterical, and can totally relate, then "HEY, we're already best buds!" So let's not waste any more time and get ready to capture some epic moments together!"
This is a Karen. Don’t be like Karen/Sharon, see what we did there?
"Escape the Karen Stigma - A Simple Guide"
Want to avoid being mistaken for a "Karen"? Easy peasy! Just bring your kindness, curiosity, and a sprinkle of humor. Check out our FAQs first (yes, we've got answers to life's greatest mysteries there). Do some sleuthing before bombarding us with questions. And hey, keep those assumptions at bay—communication is key!
Now, here's the scoop: JoJo embarked on this photography journey to support his family and fund an IVF journey, owing to an unpaid birth defect that insurance companies turn a blind eye to. So, when you choose JoJo, you're not only getting stunning photos but also lending a helping hand to an extraordinary cause. JoJo understands he's not flawless and embraces continuous learning in his craft.
Now that you're armed with this wisdom, let's start a fabulous photographer-client relationship, free from any hint of Karen-ness. Sound good? Excellent! Just remember, we're here to make your experience unforgettable, so let's keep the good vibes flowing.
If you don’t like how you look, why did you get in the shot Susan?
This section is made in humor, but also JoJo’s way of opening up and letting you know that he is very busy and tries his best to keep up. He’s a photographer, not a secretary, so tasks and consultation can sometimes get very heavy with many people. Props to his wife Danielle who takes care of many inquiries on Facebook and keeps an eye on his calendar.
JoJo wants his craft to be valued, and the administrative part of it rests on a solid relationship between the client and photographer.
